-=[Supremacy]=- -=[The Lone Rider]=-

It's been too long.

2011-12-22T02:14:00.004+08:00

2011 has been an incredible roller coaster ride for me. It had its ups and downs, but I've the courage to say I've become a much more better person than I was 2 to 3 years ago.

I've decided to eradicate my past memories, the bad ones, from this blog. I don't want to remind myself of the person I used to be ; a horrible one.

2011 wasn't a good year, but neither was it wasn't a bad one at that. I have seen and experienced many things these recent years, some which have opened hidden portions of my mind to the world. And I have only one to thank.

God.

He makes it all possible, the resolution, the change for the better, the forgiving side.

I'm not a perfect being, I will never be, but I try my best to imitate as such. I have flaws I will never get rid of, but I am willing to find the cure to these flaws.

My 5-year journey ended on the 14th of November when my O' Levels officially ended. I remember how I fell into deep depression when it first began. I fought the demon within me, and I emerged stronger than before.

Now that it has ended, there is a void that still resides within me. A missing piece, if you will, of sorts. Perhaps it's the feeling of guilt, waiting for the ultimate results to arrive.

I only hope for the best.

New Year's Resolution - Be the better person

2011-08-13T01:54:00.002+08:00

So I've decided, instead of wallowing in self-pity, I've decided to be the better person and strive for the excellence that I so desperately seek.

About 70+ odd days to the big O's, and my first is slated to arrive this month in the form of English oral exams, delayed to the last day of the month from the 26th due to the presidential elections. Thank God. Speech, don't fail me now.

And shockingly, I've received news that I've topped the class, academically. No, in no way am I bragging, but I find it staggering to know that I, a 25-pointer for Prelims 1 and to add insult to injury, failed my Maths terribly, got 1st place in my class. This is a sign, a sign to desire the need to better myself academically. To be on par with those of higher standards. I wish to do so. I want to do so. I must do so.

Until then.

2011-07-11T03:22:00.003+08:00

The past four years have been a time-warping moment for me. It seemed as if my Sec 1 life started only just yesterday.

And pretty soon, I'll be having my major O's, the godfather of all education, the benchmark of society.

I'm trying to fight the demon within me ; Procrastination, Complacency.

I always never have the time to spare for study. Mostly due to procrastination. And complacency came from last year onwards, due to my N's. Yes, I'm very aware that doing well in N's does not always guarantee me a good score for O's.

Which is also why I'm applying for DPA aka Direct Poly Admission.

Whatever happens, I just hope I'm shortlisted for an interview by the respective Polys. This is where my passion comes to good use. This is where my passion comes to life. This is a chance I must grasp while I can.

In this society we live in, I shall not be labelled as a failure and a reject. I will stand out amongst the crowd.

In time.

Which is why I shall bid this blog farewell until my majors are over... Hopefully.

Artsy.

2011-05-17T21:39:00.004+08:00

The arts scene in Singapore is sadly, dying, contrary to the recent attention it received and the new upcoming arts college opening in Singapore in the near future.

Well, it's not so much on the government's part that the arts scene is dying. However, I have to agree that the government doesn't pay enough attention to the arts scene, mainly because our sports scene is thriving with young and capable atheletes, or should I say, was. And that's also part of the reason why they decided to shift their eyes onto the arts scene instead. But I digress, I have to say that a certain amount of Singaporeans that "DO" make it into the fresh scene of art, is sadly far from the norm that is expected of art students.

Be it America, Britain or even parts of Eastern Europe, one cannot deny that accomplishing goals in the art scene is a great achievement. However, when it comes to our humble abode, many would beg to differ. It has become a case of "sucking-up" and "licking the boot" of the authorities to achieve greatness. Long gone were the days of glorious artsy-capable graduates who were always looked upon by freshmen students. Now, it's not about the art, it's about achieving the 5-figure salary, it's about finding the easiest and most degrading way to get to the top, to get noticed.

I find it really sickening, to see such an infection spreading rapidly amongst the art scene. I've seen rookies way down of the music ladder, sucking-up to those of higher authorities, and for what? The sake of money? The sake of fame? Failing at secondary school, with no visible future job prospects for them, they turn to the arts scene, the apparent "easy way out". They then proceed to "help out" with certain bands under the watchful eye of certain so-called "authorities". Yet what I see with my eyes beg to differ. All I see is corruption. And yet no one but us "scapegoats" have to pay the price, to stand up for what we believe. Where are our saviours to help defend our glorious name in time of need? Gone. You know why? They fell to the corruption that is "sucking-up". No one would want to risk their job, their pay just to defend what they deem right. Pfft. Such ignorance.

I had such hopes to become a musician in comtempary music. However, what I saw really irked me. I couldn't bear to think of the corruption and extreme "sucking-up" I have to bear when I join the music scene. No, I'm not saying it's the art scene. It's the minority of the people that consist of it. If I were to ever be a musician, I would hold my pride, my dignity like my wife. It's no use for me to ever suck-up to anyone of higher authority just to achieve cheap fame and fortune, especially against my own territory. Fucking despicable. I will rather work hard as an independent musician and try to get my works known as far as possible without being such a "suck-up". I would rather take a journey alone through perilous mountains and caverns than to take one with a couple of veterans who know their terrain from the back of their minds, but instead taking the role as their water boy. You see, the difference being 10 years from now, if I were to ever join the music scene, I would be a much more better, well-known and humble musician than anyone who ever tries to take the easy way out. I'm not being bashful, but it is for a fact.

But I digress, I've decided to pool all my studies into Business and Finance. No longer will i be the one to be looked down upon. I'd rather work hard this whole year alone than to suffer the rest of my life, thinking back on what I should've done. Well, if I truly am able to make is to my desired choice of job prospect, 10 - 20 years down the road, I can go back to my Alma Mater, and truly say that I've made it.

I really do hope you open your eyes and find out what in the world you are exactly doing. You take 5 steps forward and 10 steps back. Is this what you really want to do to your Alma Mater? i suggest you start working hard for once, stop blaming others for your own shortcomings, pull up your fucking pants, and start standing up for the right things instead of betraying your own family.

Journey to the summit.

2011-04-16T22:46:00.003+08:00

We've done it.

This is it.

The end of a 5-year strong journey with an unstoppable force only known to us as

"Montfort Secondary School Military Band"

I swear, it has been a honor and a privilege to work with you juniors. Without the combined help of everybody, our goal could not be achieved. But I digress, we've done it, we've achieved what others could not.

I guess after all, I haven't really been used to the routine of "stepping down" from Band, at least not this time, even though I have gone through such a routine once before last year. Maybe, it could be the achievement of something my batch could not achieve. But yet, here we are, clinching our fair share of glory.

Sure, I've felt my fair share of anger and despair during my time serving the Band. But still, who gives a fuck, the pros outweighs the cons millions to one.

In the end, we've achieved what we wanted to achieve and really, that's all that matters, at least to me.

Fuck it, why do I care. I admit, I haven't been really numb to the fact that my 5 years of service towards the Band are no longer needed. I still feel a surge of emotion overcoming me now and then. I guess, life has to still go on regardless. No use looking back into the past, we can all only look towards the future.

2007 - I came in as a Private, unaware of my surroundings. Afraid and alone. Was personally asked to play for 2007's Indoor SYF for the quad toms. The result of our hard work? Bronze. Really felt nothing then, I was still numb to the fact of anything of importance then.

2008 - Started the year out as a Lance Corporal. A major event of utmost importance occurred in this year - The change of conductor. Was skeptical of the new conductor at first, then anger filled my heart with hate after he kicked me out of 2008's Outdoor SYF.

2009 - Started the year out as a Corporal, promoted to Assistant Section Leader. Was tasked in playing the Vibraphone/Glockenspiel/Chimes for 2009's Indoor SYF. Yet again, the result of our hard work... Bronze. I had such high hopes.

2010 - Started the year out as a Sergeant. This year really meant no utmost importance to me, just the task of helping others out for the 2010's Outdoor SYF, which I was not to participate in.

2011 - Started the year out as a 1st Sergeant. I could've chosen not to return to the Band to help out for my fifth year, but I obliged. 6 months of preparations were made for the final frontier. Was finally tasked with one of the most important percussion instrument which my previous Section Leader had been tasked with for years - Snare Drum. We were all so eager to await the results of the the 2011's Indoor SYF. And we did it, we clinched a Silver. It may not be much for outsiders to know, but it means everything to us.

I came in this Band in 2007 as a Private, and I've finally stepped down from this Band in 2011 as a Staff Sergeant.

This journey is most memorable, and I'm sure I will never forget the memories we all shared.

#neverforget Montfort Secondary School Military Band

Silver.

2011-04-06T17:44:00.001+08:00

We've done it.

So...

2011-04-03T22:24:00.002+08:00

This is it.

The work of 4 months of grueling practices and rehearsals, shown on one day itself.

Tomorrow, we either face glory, or anarchy.

All I can say is maybe...

2011-03-11T16:18:00.002+08:00

This is what I've been expecting all along.

Twist my words and use it to frame me, bravo. I didn't know someone with stature such as yours would do commit such an immature act, really.

Death.

2011-03-09T21:51:00.002+08:00

I've been near death so many times, I'd reckon I'd be numb to the sight or thought of it.

How wrong was I.

Fear of the failure to comprehend what lies on the other side of the void. If I can't reconcile my faith through my parents, I shall just do it on my own.

Funeral for a Friend.

2011-02-22T20:25:00.002+08:00

Pressure = Force/Area

The force is so large yet the contact area given for the force to act upon is so miniscule. This is how I would summarize my Secondary 5 life.

Cheesy, but true.

I wish.

2011-01-22T20:41:00.001+08:00

Someone would understand my plight right now.

So set your ego to the side.

2011-01-18T20:21:00.002+08:00

And just get the fuck over it.

I implore the school to find reason.

2011-01-05T22:15:00.019+08:00

Do not take this as a rant, but instead a shoutout, or feedback, if you will, about the school.

Recently, for the year 2011, the time spent in school is already bleak and dull-looking for the rest of the year, mostly due to the fact that there has been a discipline overhaul compared to last year. I'm not saying that it is wrong to do so, but neither is it right, in my opinion. The rules are too strict, even for the likes of secondary schools. They are so strict that in fact, many would rather compare the rules to the likes of prisons.

For a first, the hair checks are too stringent. Being and looking neat is one thing, but to the extent of extremely short and quite truthfully awful-looking hairstyles, it's too much. Take for example the minimum requirement for hair in school last year - fringe above eyebrows, sideburns must not come into contact with ears, back must be sloped. However, this year, the past year's minimum requirement for hair in school is not applicable. I have cut my hair a total of 3 times since the past first two days of school, and yet the school is constantly on the hunt for me. And yet I am not one of those who would trim an inch of hair and call it a "haircut". As time moves forward, so does hairstyles. I'm not saying it is wrong or anything, but the hair requirements that the school demands are comparable to those of the 1970s, and I am not exaggerating in any way whatsoever. It may not be right, but it certainly is too much. For us students, our way of looking acceptable may be slightly over the requirement line, but to the extent that a manhunt has to be ordered against a certain individual with slightly longer hair than required is quite excessive. I am not in any way against hair checks, but rather, I would implore the school discipline committee to ease on the hair checks.

Secondly, the rules of phone usage in school. The current rule for phone usage in school states that only phones may be allowed before school begins, during recces, and after school hours, and at all times other than those stated must all phones be switched off. I have to disagree on this rule. Should an emergency happen and a certain individual in school needs to be contacted while he/she is in the middle of a lesson, the first reaction one would do is to call that person's hand phone. If the individual's phone is turned off, the only other way to contact the person is through the school's general office. And there is a substantial amount of time lag from the time one calls the general office to the information being passed on towards the individual. As with all emergencies, time is crucial, and this rule delays any necessary action needed to be taken with haste. I'm not suggesting that students are able to whip out their phone midst a lesson in class, but I would rather suggest the phone be set in "Silent" mode at all times. Should a student need to make an emergency call, one would only need to ask the teacher for permission to minimize delays. Standard protocol will continue as usual, with any phone confiscated for misuse during lessons.

Thirdly, respect. There has been a drastic drop in respect for students since this year, comparing with past years. As a Secondary Five student, I feel that we students are not getting enough respect from the school. What I mean by "respect" is the minimum amount of dignity every student should be allowed to hold during school, and also how a student is treated in school as well. However, we students are being treated like criminals, being constantly bossed around and doing activities that are against our own and our own families' will.

Discipline is an issue all schools have to face, there is no doubt about it. I know the school wants to make a first impression to the Secondary Ones to have them disciplined and to stop the chain of "gangsters" that are flooding the school with every batch that comes in. However, excessive steps taken to tighten discipline in a school will cause unhappiness not only amongst the students, but among some teachers as well.

And lastly, all three reasons mentioned above have something in common - it demotivates. The cutting of a student's hair against their will affects them much more than you would probably think. In order to have peace of mind and to able to study well, a student must have confidence in himself/herself. We students put our pride in our hair. Silly as it may sound like, unfortunately, it is true. Cutting our pride will cause us to lose confidence and feel uneasy, thus indirectly affecting our study life. The same with the usage of phones. Without a medium to contact anyone, the lost of confidence is felt, and should an emergency occur during a time where a student does not have his phone, complications will arise. With the lack of respect from school authorities, a student might not feel important, or a sense of belonging within the school. With that sense of insecurity and a lacking sense of belonging, confidence is lost within both the student and the individual's view of the school authorities.

I hope someone will voice out, a line has to be drawn somewhere.

If any school authority is reading this, please do not view this as a rant, but rather my own personal feedback to the school and it's rules. I use this as a medium to voice out my own opinions as I believe that students do not get enough attention through feedbacks. If you find this offensive I wouldn't mind taking it down without hesitation, but just do note that we students plead for change in the disciplinary section.

R.I.P Alan.

2011-01-02T01:59:00.002+08:00

I might not have known you that well, but it doesn't really matter, no one deserves to have a premature death, especially yours.

The water , a safe haven, yet a dangerous hazard at the same time. A hundred percent not worth it. Life is more precious than fun. I guess what I'm really trying to say is: cherish life, don't risk anything that's not worth.

May you find peace and serenity in the afterlife.

A fresh new start.

2011-01-01T02:32:00.003+08:00

Finally rid of 2010, the worst year I've experienced so far. So much has happened in the past year, but I digress, a new year, a fresh new start. Hopefully not as bad as the last.

Well, today I realised that even the closest of friends can still drift through passage of time. Out of our entire clique, only three of us went for countdown today. I can't really blame them though, it was sort of a last-minute decision.

So only three of us went for the countdown party - Me, Dzul and Randy. The St. Gabriels side, however, had plenty of them to join for the countdown party.

Sometimes, I think I'd prefer my St. Gabriels friends compared to some of my Montfort ones. When they make a informed decision, they stick with it ; no backing out at the last minute. I'm not talking about anyone in particular, but as a whole. Plans like this with last-minute organization, I can understand, but sometimes, with outings planned weeks in advance, some of my friends can actually back out at the last minute.

But I digress, back to the topic of what happened today. I met Dzul at 3.15pm at Somerset MRT. Went down to Great World City to buy my shoes, then we headed back to Dhoby Ghaut MRT to meet another friend. Went down to Nex to have lunch at Mad Jacks.

Hawt girl sitting right across me gawd good times.

Reluctantly went off to meet the rest, including Randy, at the bus stop opposite the mall after having lunch, a SLOW one, for obvious reasons.

Headed down to Kovan Superbowl. Some played pool while the rest just slacked around. Went down to Heartland Mall to have dinner at KFC, then finally took a bus down to Serangoon Gardens for the countdown.

So much fun happened there. From 2-stepping to techno songs, to criticizing the singers of lip-synching, the possibilities were endless, literally. To make things short, it was a blast. Not the countdown party itself, but the friends I were having it with.

After the countdown to 2011, we headed to a corner to relax for a while. BRITISH GIRLS WAVING AND WISHING US HAPPY NEW YEAR GAWD SO HAWT. LOL.

After that we walked all the way from Serangoon Gardens back to Nex. From there I had my dad pick me and Dzul up, then headed home.

I'm really glad I have these friends to rely on, without them I would be probably rotting at home everyday.

Once again, a Happy New Year to anyone and everyone that is reading this.

Regardless of this post, I don't guarantee that this blog would be revived anytime soon... At least for now.

Time to mug for my O's.

10 points for N' Levels.

2010-12-17T16:54:00.001+08:00

Of the required maximum 19 points to pass N' Levels.

And I admit, I prayed. Not just "normal praying", but I did ask for forgiveness, and a chance to make amends.

And I will keep to that promise.

Anarchy.

2010-12-16T23:20:00.001+08:00

2.30pm, Friday, 17th December 2010.

Truth will be told.

Revival.

2010-08-10T02:05:00.002+08:00

This will be my last post before N' Levels begin. I just hope something good will arise from the immense amount of work that I've put into my studies.

If it doesn't. Well, we'll see what happens.

400th Post.

2010-05-25T23:04:00.002+08:00

The fear that you instill in others does not affect me.

Because I have nothing else to lose.

If I'm going down, I'm going to take you down with me.

I no longer fear death. I embrace it.

This is a callout.

2010-05-04T20:18:00.003+08:00

Names will not be mentioned, but you know who you are.

And I thought I could trust you after I ranted on you, in front of them as well.
The only words you could retaliate with were "Eh please, don't start".
Now you're the one that starts the fire.

Seriously, when I say you're the potential two-timer, I wasn't kidding.
You're going after someone who already has a stead, and yet you "like" another person.

Now let's rewind time back to early March when you still had a stead.
Not giving a damn about her, you openly flirt around other girls, and even confess that you like another girl.

I guess a leopard never changes its spots.

Joke.

2010-04-28T18:56:00.001+08:00

I know I've tried to resist blogging, but an incident happened in the school library today that was so god damn funny.

Posted it to my private blog.

Abandoned.

2010-04-26T01:11:00.001+08:00

Well, this blog's pretty much dead anyway, so it's best for it to stay that way, at least until after the Prelims or my N's.

Brothers?

2010-04-20T19:02:00.003+08:00

You claim to be a brother to everyone in our class. You want our class to be "united". Yet, look what happens.

You throw the class into utter chaos. You "1-on-1" with a fellow classmate because he challenged you, THEN later you DEFEND him when a quarrel between him and another classmate occurs. What fucking irony is this?

1 Week Hiatus.

2010-04-18T13:15:00.001+08:00

Someone owes me $10.

MSSMB.

2010-04-11T00:49:00.002+08:00

It was (their) Outdoor SYF performance today at Singapore Indoor Stadium. I can really tell that the Band has really put in a lot of effort into this performance, especially during Intensive training.

Many were disappointed with the result, Certificate of Merit, but I'd say otherwise. Just play from the bottom of your heart, and just enjoy yourselves, and it's no different from a Distinction.

This will be the second last time I'll step into Band, other than the upcoming POP. It's been heck of 4 years in this CCA, I can safely say I have regretted none, other than that of THAT GUY, of course.

Sure it may had it's ups and downs, but the trip was enjoyable, nonetheless.

MSSMB, best CCA in Montfort Secondary School.

Rantzxzxzx.

2010-04-07T18:13:00.002+08:00

Private blog updated.

Open Your Third Eye.

2010-04-06T21:06:00.001+08:00

Want to know something shocking?

I've yet to understand prime numbers fully.

Requiescat In Pace.

2010-04-01T20:25:00.007+08:00

Really nothing happening this week. I've been having that horrible flu for over a week now.

Something significant happened this afternoon, though. After my last class, POA, I went up to comb the entire class for the missing class key, in which I WAS BLAMED FOR, when the person which I passed the key to denied ever holding on to the class key. I guess I can't trust this class after all.

While I was searching the teacher's table for something with a red tag which could possibly be the class key, a certain teacher, whose name I shall not divulge for his privacy (see, I actually CARE about privacy) happened to pass by.

Anonymous Teacher - "Why is the classroom in such a mess?"

Moi - "I don't know, my class wasn't held here."

Anonymous Teacher - "Whose class was held here?"

Moi - "No class was held here, DnT and POA (the two last lessons) are both held somewhere else."

Anonymous Teacher - "So you are saying the class wasn't used for the whole day?"

Moi - "No, I said there was no lesson held here for the last lesson."

Anonymous Teacher - (Raised voice) "I'm asking you which was the last class to use this classroom! Is it Chinese?" *Points to Chinese characters on the board*

Moi - (In a slightly raised voice in defence) "Yes, it's Chinese!"

It so happen that Ian was outside by then, and the "Anonymous Teacher" just told him to arrange the classroom properly without even any care to who he was or what he was doing there.

AND HE JUST WALKED OFF JUST LIKE THAT.

What kind of attitude is that? For a teacher, especially. Sure, he may have been, well, respected by us during our Sec 1/2 life. But from Sec 3 onwards, he started taking advantage of the respect we had for him, and just started becoming unreasonable.

I do thank this teacher, for opening my eyes during a Sec 2 incident. But because of that incident, he sees me as a pest ; a burden to society.

Who are you to judge me on one single event that happened almost two years ago?

He didn't even phrase his own questions properly, and expects me to answer such a vague question.

And he raises his voice, as if he's in the right, the "superior" one.

Bordel de merde, trouver un vrai travail et cesser de pleurnicher.

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.

Motivated?

2010-03-30T18:30:00.006+08:00

Nah.

Combine boring and off-topic talks with a icy-cold room and a terrible flu. You get Adam Khoo's Workshop.

Aimer blesse, vivre avec elle.

Certainly.

2010-03-29T17:24:00.003+08:00

Went to the sink and spat out my phlegm. Strangely, it was bright-reddish in colour. Upon closer inspection, I realised it was blood.

5 minutes later, I puked out a whole bucket of blood, I think.

Something certainly ain't right.

Hey.

2010-03-28T19:49:00.001+08:00

The hell am I developing a British accent?

Zeal?

2010-03-25T16:07:00.004+08:00

I happened to chance upon this thread in a SG forum in which absolutely nothing was being done to deny this person's choice of words.

Below is as quoted.

"Many Singapore Christians are becoming more and more coward-like. For example, Singapore pastors are often afraid of offending other people around them by acting to be tolerant towards other religions, where the Bible has always says we must preach against false religions. Many will say, Singapore is a multi-cultural society and we must be sensitive but what happen in the Bible where Stephen was stoned for preaching against the Jews? We shall obey God rather than men and boldly preach against other religions, Christians in Singapore has become more and more unbecoming, interpreting Bible in a very conformist way, just because it is a legal way to do so.

God is not happy when we choose people to preach to gospel to, he wants every tongue and every tribe to call upon his name. Many Christians do not dare to preach to Malays fearing persecution but the Bible says Christians should die for their faith and why should we not preach to the Malays just because we are in Singapore?

Hence, I say, Singapore Christians are becoming more and more coward like and holds very moderate but modified views which does not go in line with Biblical teachings.

The Christian couples who distributed Chick tracts are persecuted because of their faith and they are the truly bold Christians who are willing to deny themselves for Jesus. Same goes to Rony Tan although he apologized instead of standing up for Jesus. Could this trend happen because most Christians today are not converted but rather 2nd or 3rd generation Christians who are not very on fire and have no true faith like those first generation Christians, such as their parents or grandparents?"

- Quoted from a SG forum

I seriously can't bear to believe that such blasphemic words were actually spoken by a CHRISTIAN residing on this small island.

I'm sorry, but I have to voice my opinion out on this one.

This obviously shows a very willing inclination to disregard FREE WILL that we people enact in our choice of worship and peaceful living with extreme prejudice.

Right now, you are trying to say that Christians are cowards and you are a hero just because you are not ashamed in preaching the gospel, which is a form of self-glorification. Are you saying what you're saying because you truly love God, or just trying to make yourself feel good?

The brotherhood of Christ is not about pointing fingers at each other. Would you do the work of the Unclean One and set brother against brother, would you spread the doctrine of Mammon with a burning heart that should be quietly reserved for our Lord?

Do you really call yourself a disciple of Jesus Christ if all you do is to incense the people against you? When the Jesus suffered against the then unbelievers, he did not provoke them with his words. The reaction against him is borne from fear and recognition of the truth. The true followers of Christ know it in their hearts, yet they do not provoke nor degrade others, because the Lord did not do it.

If the Lord sets himself as a shining paragon of virtue, who are you to set fire to peace and harmony with your torch of self-righteousness?

I doubt you can even hold the Lord in your heart, when you burn only outwardly and harm those around you. The real fire comes from our heart and soul, while yours, is not.

And lastly, may I add that most religions state that, if you are not a follower of their beliefs, then you're going straight down to eternal damnation. According to your idea of preaching against other religions, your vague and distorted view on Christianity clearly implies that everybody, regardless of religion nor race, is set for everlasting torment, no?

Heaven is clearly going to be lonely at this rate of which such blasphemic lies are continued. You lack the understanding of God and his beliefs to know the true meaning of what's it like to be a real Christian.

I almost forgot to mention. I was once a believer, no longer though. But do not expect me to stand at a corner and watch such firebrand antics to be carried out. We do not need such "zealotry" in this country, thank you very much.

You will be missed.

2010-03-24T18:32:00.002+08:00

God, hair looks extremely fugly right now, and I'm making no exaggerations. It's that bad.

I should be happy that I'm back into the heart of Post-Hardcore, but it still doesn't feel quite right. Then again, returning back to a genre that was (or maybe even still is) dead is never comfortable.

I'm also trying very hard to get myself into the Catholic faith once again, but something's pulling me back. Maybe I'm still unsure of the existence of a God, or maybe I'm just lying to myself. It also feels uneasy to join the group of believers I once shunned, or maybe even still.

I'm sorry, but I can't see the logic of a Catholic insulting other religions, it's just so bloody ironic.

Well, I sure as hell can't stay as an Atheist forever. Our group of people are being shunned by the rest of the believers.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

2010-03-22T15:06:00.003+08:00

You are God's worst mistake.

I am the Devil's best creation.

Kudos to Darren for inspiring me to create that phrase.

Just found out that I developed rashes ALL OVER MY BODY. Must be due to that bloody bee hive that was just directly in front of our class, snowing literally dozens and dozens of dandruff-like particles onto us.

In another side-note, Operation N8 fails.

Back to the drawing board.

In all my spite.

2010-03-21T23:06:00.002+08:00

It's like working towards a goal that's non-existent, isn't it?

Deus Ex Machina.

2010-03-19T21:49:00.004+08:00

Wordpress, why hast thou forsaken thee?

Regardless, the planning of the chalet was a ultimate disaster. Not everybody was informed of the time and the place to meet, let alone the place of the chalet itself. There was absolutely no way in contacting the planner.

Thus, the chain calls began.

In the end, we were playing a guessing game, creating a manual proposition for some group of people to meet at a certain time, and pray that by the time we reached the chalet, it would be time.

Well, it worked.

Well, I won't divulge further into details. You could say that I'm just too lazy.

To sum things up, I did enjoy myself. Yet I did not.

Done.

Indulgence.

2010-03-17T19:49:00.004+08:00

Church was intriguing, yet somewhat hilarious.

Not going to divulge further. What is said in there stays in there, I've made my vow.

You might as well call this a revival 'post'.

Oh, Wordpress, don't you just love luring me.

Gawd Damn.

2010-03-14T23:15:00.002+08:00

Band Fiesta was, fun.

It was at that point I realise the unity then band has.

And I'm just mentioning of the students ; not including teachers in charge and, well, conductors.

Even if it was half a day's wait just for a 5 minute performance, it was really worth it.

Our performance at Singapore Conference Hall was great.

Our band really put heart and soul into the songs.

I'd say the praises we received were put to justice.

Though I may degrade the band in the form of negative remarks.

But truly, I'm really lucky to have joined Band in the first place.

Montfort Military Band, best CCA ever.

Irony much? Who gives a damn.

Divine Comedy.

2010-03-12T23:18:00.003+08:00

Nine circles of Hell.

Do I have a choice of selection for my eternal damnation, King Minos?

Whisper into the wind.

2010-03-11T21:58:00.000+08:00

What do you hear?

Our lips must always be sealed.

2010-03-09T22:21:00.010+08:00

What a shame we all became.

2010-03-08T16:30:00.004+08:00

"There's no stopping us now. We're family."

"We decided, this is definitely the loudest crowd we've ever had."

"We never ever take a second of this for granted."

- Hayley Williams

Last night, I had the best 2 hours of my life. The same hall with Paramore.

I swear, the band was as united as the fans themselves.

Nobody, I mean, NOBODY, took a seat as long as Paramore took the stage. The entire stadium could well be the standing pen itself already.

Then they had the fake exit. And as usual, we the fans, shouted for an encore.

And so they came back.

I was, no, we were literally jealous of the standing pen. Because the band was throwing out sticks in pairs into the standing pen, not to mention posters.

Jeremy even threw his pick onto a fan and then went to the back of the stage to take another.

Our entire row was literally filled with jealousy.

Even after the concert, the fun never stopped.

People were blasting songs from their cars while people sang along. Stupid, I know. But it was so much fun.

The merchandise booths were selling shirts at $40 each. And yet they were selling so fast. I think they made more sales on the merchandise rather than the tickets.

People were scrambling over the last piece of shirt. I even witnessed one scrawny guy buy a shirt with XL-size the only available size left.

I can safely say.

Ian, Dominic, and I, had the BEST NIGHT EVER.

OH FUCK.

2010-03-06T18:29:00.003+08:00

1 MORE FUCKING DAY...

PARAMORE IS CURRENTLY RESIDING SOMEWHERE IN SINGAPORE RIGHT NOW.

OMGOMGOMG.

We're just misguided ghosts.

2010-03-05T20:23:00.004+08:00

Didn't have enough time to complete my SS essay on time, 45 minutes is really tight for a 2-part section.

Didn't have enough time to complete my last two strategies on how to alleviate starvation for my Geog paper as well. 4 marks gone just like that.

Seriously, I wouldn't have mind finishing up 30 minutes later, at least give me an hour on each paper.

Wha...

2010-03-04T19:11:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow's the day.

Social Studies and Geography, together as one ; as a common test.

And I have not studied yet.

FML.

Also.

3 MORE DAYS TO PARAMORE.

There Is A God!

2010-03-02T18:23:00.002+08:00

What seemed impossible just became reality.

I finally get a grasp on POA.

No, not just the new topics, but the basics as well.

I've done what others have failed to do.

This deserves a celebration.

In Love.

2010-02-25T21:48:00.008+08:00

This is the girl that knows me better.

I'm in love with the Epiphone G-400 SG Guitar.

Seriously.

2010-02-23T20:25:00.003+08:00

PTM was somehow, intriguing, and interesting.

Somehow, Higher Nitec isn't as bad as what it seems. Just that media has turned its' cover page into such a monstrosity.

Yeah, also was praised by Mr Llyod Yeo. Awesome.

And also apparently, many of teachers are complaining about our attitude in class.

But what they don't grasp is their method of teaching, in which the blame is shifted onto us.

How are things able to get any worse? You've made everything gone wrong.

You've got nobody to blame but yourself. You brought this upon yourself. Stop pointing fingers at others because it's fucking despicable.

You can stop the gay posts about every single thing I blog about, because I remembered I told you to the exact opposite.

Look at the result.

Now look at who's refusing to change now, and starts pointing fingers at others.

Fucking low-life.

Do you not know, the very least, the concept of 'cutting ties'?

It means not being fucking gay and start blogging about other GUYS.

So seriously, fuck off, before I start shaming you in front of everybody.

The same way you shamed me in front of everybody, fucktard.

Black Holes and Revelations.

2010-02-22T19:39:00.003+08:00

Oh God, I thank ye, for thy wish hath come true.

Finally having split classes for POA. Finally a smaller class, with a better teacher. I FINALLY UNDERSTAND POA. Epic.

And to substitute for that, I'm losing concentration on Geography, mainly because our class used to consist of 4 people last year, now it's combined with another class. Adapt much? Guess not.

7/15 for Geography. Epic fail marks. Epic fail, on what used to be full marks last year.

Truth.

2010-02-22T00:05:00.001+08:00

Thanks Randy Goh for the talk just now. Really appreciate it.

Right now I have only three things that I want to focus on in life right now.

Studies.
Music.
Friends.

I can finally see who my real friends are now.

Anyway, I'm done with this relationship stuff. I've given up on the opposite sex already. It's all a lie.

Pretentious?

2010-02-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

I'm in love with a girl that knows me better.

Gays.

2010-02-17T00:30:00.003+08:00

Pfft, some people, really. They still think that they're in the right.

Seriously, if you're going to keep me waiting, at least tell me what the fuck you're doing. Be it watching gay porn or whatever. You don't have to keep me waiting while I see you blogging and facebooking.

Sure, you may not have lied. At least have the fucking courtesy to tell me. But then again, some people never do change, do they?

The reason why you fail to convince me, is because you're too fucking stubborn. After all that you've kept from me, is it any wonder that you have all the reasons to lie? Look at yourself in the mirror first before pointing fingers.

And please, no one wants your reply. No one even wants to talk to you.

And that's precisely why you went back to talking terms with the person you used to mock every single time. EVEN POURING OUT your feelings to the person you once despise.

How despicable. You're a disgrace to both your family and religion.

You entirely changed the bloody purpose of a religion. To praise, to worship, to absolve one's sins. You've turned the entire course of it.

So now it's about talking behind people's back, keeping secrets away from others, and many more. To top it all off, a mask of religion. At least I'm smart enough to see through you.

I'm done with this 'closer than friends' excuse. It's all a fucking lie.

It's just another reason to just ponder about our species' lack of intelligence.

Hilarity Ensues.

2010-02-17T00:15:00.003+08:00

I just realised I appeared on Channel 8's news coverage about the new casino that opened today, for a split second, at Vivo.

Happy 17th birthday ONG Qiulin! Tahan one more year, go clubbing! (Y)

It's time for change, a restart.

2010-02-14T22:04:00.002+08:00

I thank Natalie for helping me out with the project, even on CNY. Thanks a lot! Your help is really appreciated :D

Today, was extremely, extremely boring, and tedious. At least I managed to play my bass guitar.

The same basic routine for every CNY - Shake hands, greet each other, receive Hong Bao (Or was it Ang Pao?), give one in return, Repeat.

Sure, the money is enticing, but. It's an endless paradox isn't it?

Fuck Off.

2010-02-13T00:39:00.002+08:00

Fuck broken promises.

You know what I hate?

2010-02-09T20:25:00.001+08:00

People who are in the wrong who try to twist my words, then claim that they were right in the first place.

Disappointed.

2010-02-07T23:18:00.003+08:00

Really.

So whatever she did say was indeed true.

Whatever we say one day, you forget the next.

So who cares if you write an essay of apology. When you'll just revert back to your low-life stubborn state the next day.

I saw what you typed to your friend in the chat box.

"Guys are all like that?"

Please fucking look at yourself before pushing the damn blame to others.

Guys, you tell me. How is saying "ILY" to a guy, FROM A GUY, not in anyway gay? You tell me.

Shameless.

2010-02-05T20:23:00.002+08:00

Someone who is willing to attend back his own CCA, after being in a short hiatus.

He promised his teachers that he would go back to his own CCA.

Today he came to talk to you.

And you shamelessly turned him down.

You shamed him, in front of so many.

He had the confidence, to come and talk to you. He really wanted to come back to this CCA.

And what did you do?

You turned him away.

So what did you do with the other guy who came back to his CCA reluctantly after such a long hiatus?

You accepted him back.

I have no respect for you now.

Hilarious Shiz.

2010-02-03T23:29:00.002+08:00

Today, was freaking hilarious.

Cabbed down to SJC with Darren after school at 2pm to meet the two vocalists, then took a 163 bus down to Thompson Plaza to meet up with Ian and Randy.

Had a funny lunch at KFC. Ian and Randy kept "suan-ing" Darren's size. Halfway through eating, Dominic came.

After that went to the church to settle the ministry etc. matters.

After the church thing was settled, that's when it started.

Ian went off early, so Michelle, Kimberly, Darren, Dominic, Randy and I decided to eat at some chicken rice stall.

Freaking, HILARIOUS.

I can safely say we took about 1 hour to leave that place. Dominic, Randy and I were laughing so much. Randy couldn't even take a bite of his chicken rice for the first 20 minutes.

After that we decided to do some last-minute jamming at O'landos for 1 hour.

Hmm, was quite funny during jamming. Cracked so many jokes.

After that, went with Randy and Kimberly to Marymount MRT to take a train back home.

Damn, today was freaking fun.

Truth.

2010-02-02T23:41:00.002+08:00

At least now I know who really cares and who doesn't. But that's not my main purpose.

Well, I'm feeling, slightly better, thanks to those who actually cared.

But, I feel as if I can go back into that status at any point of time. Which is why I'm afraid.

Scared?

I've had enough of that.

Remember.

2010-02-01T22:54:00.004+08:00

Remember this post.

Because one year exactly after this post - 1st Feburary 2011 , 10:55PM.

This blog will probably be dead.

And so will I.

Definition of Life.

2010-01-31T23:50:00.002+08:00

Tell me.

Well.

2010-01-30T18:47:00.005+08:00

I've only one thing to say - I didn't enjoy today.

Band, a place where people actually play music as a passion, no longer. Now, it's just a chore. A demand. It's the play-or-get-out attitude that has molded Band into this low-level state.

Somebody in Band mentioned that we, the current Sec 4s, have to come back as alumnis to help the band once we graduate out of school.

I'm sure as hell not going back there once I'm out of this god-forsaken place they call a CCA - Band.

Private blog updated.

Farewell.

2010-01-29T23:44:00.002+08:00

Randy GOH, we'll miss you in school! *Insert sad face here*

First time, that 4 guitars were brought to school, from a single class, on the same day. Awesome jamming session.

Private blog updated as well.

Nostalgia Win?

2010-01-27T17:24:00.005+08:00

Finally headed back to our good ol' Hougang Mall hangout after so long. Slacked with the usual. Then went with Randy Goh to LJS to have lunch. Had some interesting topics to talk about, then left for home.

School's boring. But I finally got myself to understand Physics. Finally.

Advo TTM?

2010-01-26T23:01:00.001+08:00

Advocaters. Not bad a recommendation, Syabil. But god-damn, $300 a month. You sure have money to spend, don't you?

Also, private blog updated.

Private Blog.

2010-01-25T15:54:00.002+08:00

I've made a private blog to write all my future rants and discontent of life, due to the fact that some eyes have been recently set upon this blog.

From now on, this blog will be solely about everyday life. The rest will go to my private blog.

If you want an invite, tell me, and I'll consider it.

The link will be up in the links bar soon.

Unworthy.

2010-01-24T23:41:00.001+08:00

Pfft. Please.

Your Tears Don't Fall.

2010-01-24T00:47:00.004+08:00

They crash around me.

True colours have shown.
The leopard has been spotted.

But in the end, nobody wins.

Then again, was it even a battle from the start?

I guess the answer lies with the person above.

Life's Waiting To Begin.

2010-01-22T19:55:00.002+08:00

I wouldn't know what do to with my life, without this clique.

I'd like to thank you guys. A lot.

Band, boring, band. Finally, I've waited for the day I could slack the whole time throughout band, because the Sec 4s aren't participating in this year's outdoor SYF. We just need to coach the Sec 3s - 1s for SYF. I don't really have high hopes for Percussion, especially the Sec 3s, but we'll see where it goes.

Even Heroes Have The Right To Bleed.

2010-01-21T19:40:00.005+08:00

And it's not easy.

Met Qiulin after school today at around 4pm. She couldn't find her way here, due to Rainald's vague explanation on how to get to Montfort, so she cabbed down halfway. Passed her the Geography textbook in which she had been searching FOR YEARS. LOL.

Waited for Rainald's lesson to end at 4.20pm, then headed down to Qiulin's parents shop there to eat.

OMELETTE = WIN.

Talked, slacked, and discussed about the CNY dinner.

Just saw the music video for Skyway Avenue by We The Kings. Seems like my story, except without the happy ending.

"I don't want to be your rebound."

Yah Yoh!

2010-01-20T17:05:00.001+08:00

I managed to sleep through an entire one period during CLB lesson. But ended up waking up to a headache.

After school, met Rainald, took bus 136 with him, when suddenly, we turned around and saw... Alvin!

Ahaha, I know somebody who's going to start flooding in questions.

Flipping through a book of...

2010-01-19T20:02:00.003+08:00

Extremely tired today. Both physically and mentally.

Was quite tiring having a flu while at school. Not comfortable at all.

After PE, some fucker decided to snatch my cup of milo away from me. He couldn't loosen my grip, so he asked whether he could have some.

"You let go then I give you some"

"Don't want leh"

"Okay lor, stay like this lor"

This fucker actually had a standstill with me for a about 30 seconds, when Dzul finally helped me out and said "Eh give him back his drink lah, don't so bad."

This idiot replied with "Why is it your problem? Why so guai lan?"

How is it "guai lan" to ask somebody to give back something thats not theirs to its rightful owner?

So, I was there, still holding on to the cup, while both of them quarreled. When it finally ended, the fag started squeezing my cup until the ice cracked and the milo was pouring out. I was bloody pissed off, so I just threw the fucking cup upwards. I had gotten milo all over me, but at least he had more on him than me. Gave him the rant of his life.

He offered to pay me back for my drink. That's not the bloody point, is it?

The fag then confronted Dzul about just now. I really wanted to shout at him.

Dzul mentioned that he talked about 'respect towards retainees'. There's a reason why you're retained, aren't you? There's no special privilege, either you're one of us, or out.

Then somebody mentions a fight. 4A3 vs. 4A3. Fucking hell.

Enough of that fag.

Went with Rainald to meet up with Qiulin after school today. Went down to her parent's shop there to eat. Awesome, I like the food.

After that, went to a few tuition centers around Hougang Mall to enquire about 4NA courses. To no avail.

We spent our whole afternoon searching around the island for tuiton centers that cater to 4NA students. None.

Our last choice - Mavis Tuition @ Kovan.

Oh God.

2010-01-18T21:51:00.003+08:00

Apparently I got infected by 'some' person *ahem* with a 'minor' H1N1 flu virus.

Great, in my lifetime, I've been infected by H1N1 twice.

I'm lovin' it.

Thanks ah Tan! :D

Oh fuck.

2010-01-17T22:01:00.001+08:00

Fucking hell, just leave me alone.

Fuck this life.

Fuck this family.

I shall embrace Hell from now on. After all, that's where I belong.

Donation? Please?

2010-01-16T18:37:00.000+08:00

It was flag day today. Nothing much to emphasise. Only some really ridiculous excuses some people gave me to avoid giving donations.

"Oh, I need to carry the baby, cannot donate, sorry ah!" (Mind you, the baby was standing)

"Sorry, never bring wallet." (And the wallet was in her hands)

"Phony organization lah!" (Some crazy old man who talks about non-related brotherly betrayal)

"No money." (So go beg)

Really makes me ponder about the average level of intelligence Singaporeans hold.

So.

2010-01-15T19:24:00.005+08:00

Today was the day the Sec 1s were to choose their CCA. Nothing much to mention, other than the annual 30-minute drum solo or more. It seems to be a tradition that started last year, courtesy of somebody. Good luck Paul for next year.

We evacuated the quadrangle earlier than usual due to dark clouds forming. Sure as hell didn't want to get the Gretsch Black Hawk wet.

After packing up, taking a band photo and falling in, went with Rainald, Qiulin and Alvin to Chomp Chomp. Ate, talked, slacked, so fun.

And now the rant. Yes, there's is a rant.

I've decided to censor some parts of the rant as some few pair of eyes are on guard.

Yes, you know who you are. Constantly trying to insult Band indirectly, while as you are no better.

Please, save us your embarrassment. Just because you come from a foreign country, doesn't mean you are exotic, and thus, able to do whatever you want.

You are in a well-knowned CCA, especially of Montfort Secondary. It is people like you who spoil the name of it.

I've also seen a pattern. You seem to act tough when with friends, but crawl into a corner when alone? How low-life can you get?

And this is not the first time you've done so. MULTIPLE TIMES.

I can't believe a person like you can behave like you just came from a 3rd-world country.

Yes. I'm talking about you. The one that 4A3, one of the most notorious class in Montfort Secondary, if not most, despise. Better watch your back, least someone comes after you.

And it would not be me. Apparently you've insulted a few other CCAs as well. I'll let them handle it.

I would type more, but I've abide to certain, restrictions, if you will.

Impossible? Possible.

2010-01-14T17:17:00.002+08:00

Didn't think it would be possible.

For my whole life, I've never thought the impossible could happen ; 3 physical fights in less than 20 minutes, occuring in class. Today I have been proven wrong.

To top it all off, all of these 3 fights were with the same victim. How a harmless paper ball fight turn into a vicious fist fight, I don't know.

1st fight - Teacher had barely written anything down on the whiteboard yet.

2nd fight - Teacher wrote half of an expansion equation.

3rd fight - Teacher was still trying to calm down the class.

Best one period ever. Oh, my renowned love for Mathematics.

Restart.

2010-01-13T21:25:00.000+08:00

This life.

Really.

2010-01-12T17:55:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry.

Truth.

2010-01-09T18:49:00.002+08:00

I confess. I really did like you. But somehow, it led to a horrible misunderstanding that didn't go well.

For that, I'm sorry.

You shouldn't be the one to leave, I should.

Useless.

2010-01-09T14:09:00.002+08:00

Today was pratically useless. Reached school at around 7.20am when the fall-in time was actually 7.45am. Was supposed to do morning PT, which I find it quite ridiculous, especially falling on a Saturday. Luckily, we Sec 4s didn't need to do PT, so we slacked in the band room, till we got called down.

Me and Daniel were ordered to bring down 3 bass drums and the harness as well. Went up and we realised that the harnesses weren't screwed in yet, so we did.

Slowly but surely, we brought them all down. Some smart intellectual *cough* decided to show off by inviting people up to try and carry the humongous bass drum. He even asked Daniel and I to do. When I was carrying it, I somehow lost my balance forward, and lost grip onto the bass drum, so I used my kneecap to cushion the bass drum when it fell. HURTS, LIKE, HELL. I suppressed my pain until I went into the band room again. And there the guy was showing off his pot belly and carrying the bass drum with ease.

Went down again and did bass drum for the foot drill practice for the Sec 1s - 3s until 12pm, then packed up and went for lunch at AMK Hub.

Somehow happy I'm actually leaving this CCA for good.

Uber.

2010-01-08T20:27:00.003+08:00

Had band after what seemed to be an eternity in school today. Some false information somebody gave me. Released at 12.30pm, and they said we would be released early at 4pm. We were to immediately report to the band room after school. No lunch break, nothing.

The whole band ordeal was UBER BORING. Other than a small performance for the Sec 1s, I was sleeping the whole time on the drumset's snare drum.

It was a 4pm when somebody told me, band ended at 5.30pm. Wtf. Early indeed.

After band, some son-of-a-bitch which I shall not mentioned took away one of my friends and fell back onto his words, what a sissy. Him and another two of my friends were supposedly going to AMK Hub to have dinner. Fucking idiot.

I give you another suggestion -

2010-01-07T17:18:00.002+08:00

1 x 0 is... 1 - Sec 4 Express student

Went down with Ian and Thomas to AMK Hub today to check out the Kentridge tuition center. BIG, MISTAKE.

Asked this Indian guy at the counter to enquire about the 4NA POA classes. He took down our names and numbers, and then proceeded to ask for any other subjects needed tutoring.

So we mentioned Combined Science. He then ushered us into the computer lab. At first, we all thought the he was going online to show us the courses? But he ended up giving us a 30-minute lecture. Seriouly, wtf.

First, he talked about N' Levels. Expected. Every single teacher that walked into our classroom always starts out the lesson with the words N' Level. Then, he goes on to tell us about our future, our jobs, our, seriously? I'm here just to enquire about the tuition, not to find out my fortune. He goes on to talk about how great his son is. If his son is so successful, why is he here? I like how he made us look/sound dumb. He constantly criticised us with our, 'fancy computers', 'trouble-making', and 'unwillingness to study'.

Apparently, there were no 4NA classes, what a waste of time. There were only 3E and 4E classes. He mentioned that the 3E syllabus was exactly the same as with the 4NAs. I call it false. Why? After he mentioned about scientists able to make a plant that grows LED. Seriously? Which fairy tale did he fall into?

After what seemed like an eternity, we finally stepped out of the computer lab. He passed us the forms, BUT IT WAS NOT OVER.

We almost walked out of there. ALMOST. He gave us another 10-minute lecture, while 'giving us another suggestion'. He took he glasses off and placed it down on the table, and we knew, it wasn't going to be a short lecture.

After yet another what-seems-to-be-an-eternity moment, it finally ended. It was like walking through the gates of Hell, and Hell wasn't willing to let us get the 'hell' out.

Instead of encouraging us, he chased us away. Win.

Apparently Omar did have that same lecture.

From now on, Ian, Thomas and I will remind each other for years to come ; I give you another suggestion.

Also, sat in the bus with some Maris Stellans behind me. I don't know how they manage to do it, they are able to put the word 'Fuck' into sentences that it doesn't even belong.

Funniest sentence I heard from one of them was...

"What the fuck? He do that for fuck? What's his fucking problem? He got fucking problem ask him fucking come to me lah. I fucking show him who the fuck I really am. Fucking fuck."

F-Count : 9

In a single sentence.

Mind you, that was a casual conversation. Wait till you hear them quarrel.

A memory remains.

2010-01-06T19:02:00.002+08:00

Just a tiny spark.

What a shame we all became, such fragile broken things.

My heart is yours.

Where did you go?

2010-01-05T17:36:00.005+08:00

Been really depressed lately, haven't been so for a very long time. Only someone prevented me from doing the foolish. Thanks, you know who you are.

Where were you? When everything was falling apart.
All my days were spent by the telephone. It never rang.
All I needed... Was a call, that never came.

So, where the fuck were you?

It isn't.

2010-01-04T16:33:00.001+08:00

It just wasn't supposed to turn out this way.

4th of January, not so dreadful as I thought it would be, though it gave me an enlightenment instead for the upcoming year.

Someone save me before I drown, please.

The Great Escape.

2010-01-03T17:27:00.004+08:00

You have been pushing your luck against me, always trying to find ways to squeeze me out of everything. Throw me aside, and claim to be a good samaritan, no longer.

Always accusing me of things that I hardly know of, and raising your voice against me, as if I weren't a human either. People tell me, do not raise my voice against you, or else you'll get even more unreasonable. Even more? I hardly believe that you were capable of doing more.

Task me in tracking somebody, why not just task THAT person to track himself? When I fail to do so, you push the blame all to me.

For this, I have only one thing to say... You win.

Yes, I'm waving the white flag. I forfeit, you win.

I've always been second-hand goods in your eyes. In my eyes, I'm no use for the world.

Since I'm of no good use to the world... There's only one thing left to do, isn't it?

People call it foolish, they call it 'the wrong path taken'.

Let them call it whatever the want to. I call it 'escape'. A second life, if you will.

You cornered me into this. Don't say you didn't, because you forced me to.

View it as, a last resort. A one-way ticket escape from your wrath, if you will.

Foolish as it may be, it's my only cure of my hate for life, in which you have given me.

The world will soon come to know that, you dragged me into this, you cornered me, and forced me to do so.

After all, this will be, your glory.

2010, best, and will be the last.

Ay.

2010-01-02T23:00:00.000+08:00

Revolution begins. Or so they say.

Ddedwydd Grai Blwyddyn

2010-01-01T01:52:00.004+08:00

Credits to Syabil for indulging me into Welsh.

First blog post of 2010. Into 2 hours of 2010, and all seems fine. I just hope 2010 will at least be better than 2009 twofold.

Bonne? Année.

Someone once told me.

Love, is just a word, until you find someone who comes along and gives you the definition.

So I'm guessing, the definition of love means... betrayal? hate? I don't know.

Someone grab a dictionary for me.